Listen up, young whippersnappers, because I’m about to share with you the one and only true recipe for a Long Island Gnome which is essential when you are gardening and are out of beer. You can keep your fancy-pants mixology tools and your fruity umbrellas, because this drink is made the way it was meant to be made – with gunpowder green tea and local rye whiskey. If you are wanting better yields when doing the raised bed gardening thing, then you must continue to read about how mixology can help.
Mixology With Tea?
Why yes! First things first, let’s talk about the tea. None of that weak, watery stuff you get at the supermarket – we’re talking about the real deal here. Gunpowder green tea is the only kind of tea that’s fit to be in a Long Island Gnome. It’s got a bold, smoky flavor that can stand up to the whiskey, and it’s just the right amount of bitter to balance out the sweetness of the other ingredients.
Rye Whiskey
Now, let’s talk about the whiskey. You might be tempted to use some fancy, imported whiskey, but let me tell you something – local rye is the way to go. It’s got a depth of flavor that you just can’t get from the mass-produced stuff, and it’s got a little bit of that hometown pride built right in. Plus, supporting your local distillery is just good karma.
Shake It Up!
Once you’ve got your tea and your whiskey, it’s time to start mixing. Here’s the recipe, straight from the mouth of the grumpiest old gnome you’ll ever meet:
- 2 parts brewed gunpowder green tea
- 1 part local rye whiskey
- 1/2 part triple sec
- 1/2 part fresh squeezed lemon juice
- Splash of sugar free cola
Mix everything together in a shaker with some ice, and give it a good shake. Strain it into a tall glass filled with ice, and top it off with a splash of cola. And that’s it – the Long Island Gnome, the only drink you’ll ever need.
Now, I know some of you young’uns might be thinking about tinkering with this recipe. Maybe you want to add some fancy garnishes, or maybe you want to use some kind of flavored syrup. Well, let me tell you something – if you mess with the Long Island Gnome, you’re just asking for trouble. This drink is perfect the way it is, and you should be grateful to have it.
So there you have it, the grumpy old gnome’s recipe for the perfect Long Island Gnome. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a drink to make. And don’t even think about asking for one if you’re not willing to do it right.
Drink It in a Ball Jar
Wait don’t leave just yet. Let me tell you something else, young’uns – the only way to truly enjoy a Long Island Gnome is in a frosty 32 oz Ball jar.
None of those fancy glasses that look like they belong in a museum – a Ball jar is the perfect vessel for this drink. It’s got plenty of room for all the ice you need to keep it cold, and it’s sturdy enough to handle a good old-fashioned gnome-style cheers. So if you’re looking to enjoy this drink the way it was meant to be enjoyed, you better have a 32 oz Ball jar and lid at the ready.
Cheers!
Bad “Long Island” Gnome
[…] favorite of many sandwich connoisseurs both gnome and human alike. It pairs very nicely with a Long Island Gnome by the […]
[…] Bad Gnome: “Nice segue. Speaking of light, make sure you’ve got good grow lights for these indoor herbs. And don’t forget to control the temperature to encourage germination. Much of the temperature you need will come from a grow light, however, be careful not to burn things up because in our indoor greenhouse, it can get up to 90° on the top shelf. You can always use a fan to cool it down whilst fanning your tomatoes. Did I mention that I happen to L-O-V-E tomatoes? Nearly as much as a tankard of fine Gnomish Ale. Heck I’d even be happy with a Long Island Gnome.” […]